Marriage is one of the most important aspects of our lives. It is a sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (SAW). Given its significance, as Muslims, we must prepare for marriage according to Islamic principles. Every step you take is crucial. A single mistake might disrupt the peace of your marriage. In this blog, we will discuss four steps for marriage preparation that will help you achieve a successful and fulfilling married life.
Before we dive into the main aspects of marriage preparation, let’s briefly discuss the benefits of marriage. Through marriage, we can complete our faith (Iman) and protect ourselves from sinful actions.
In this context, the Prophet (SAW) said, ‘Whoever marries has completed half of their faith (Iman). So let them fear Allah in the remaining half.’ (Bayhaqi, Shu’ab al-Iman).
“The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said, ‘Whoever guarantees (control over) what is between their jaws (the tongue) and what is between their legs (the private parts), I will guarantee Jannah for them.'” (Bukhari 6474) Because most of the mischief, corruption, and sinful acts in this world occur through the tongue and the private parts. Whoever controls these two, the Messenger of Allah (SAW) has taken responsibility for leading them to Jannah. Here, marriage plays a crucial role in safeguarding the private part
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So, let’s discuss the four steps of marriage preparation according to Islam:
4 Steps of Marriage Preparation According to Islam
1. Preparation of Iman (Faith) and Actions
The first step in preparing for marriage is to ensure that one’s Iman (faith) and actions are aligned with Islamic principles. Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala, in Surah An-Nur of the Holy Qur’an, states that righteous men are matched with righteous women, and corrupt men are matched with corrupt women. (Source: Surah An-Nur 24:26)
A person whose heart is enlightened by Iman, who consistently engages in Qur’anic recitation and avoids immorality and indecency, will seek a spouse who will motivate them to engage in night prayers (Tahajjud). They will uphold the Sunnah by gently awakening their spouse with water if necessary, periodically recite the Qur’an together, and be enthusiastic to learn if the wife is not yet skilled in Qur’anic recitation. Additionally, they will cherish moments of affection and playfulness together.
The first step is to rectify one’s Iman (faith) and actions before marriage and to abandon sinful behaviors. If one has undesirable habits, they should be abandoned, as the highest form of sustenance is a virtuous spouse. Sinful actions can even deprive one of their sustenance. However, abandoning sins and engaging in righteous deeds will bring distant provisions closer.
The key solution to all problems is ‘fear of Allah’ (Taqwa). Marriage is a righteous deed, while sins are wicked actions. Repentance (Tawbah) and abandoning sinful actions are prerequisites for the acceptance of repentance.
‘And those who strive for Us, We will surely guide them to Our ways. And indeed, Allah is with the righteous.’ (Surah Al-Ankabut 29:69)
Account for yourselves before you are held accountable. This is easier and more beneficial.
It should be noted that: Whether a good person meets a good person or a bad person is the decision of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala. Pharaoh’s wife Asia was a very good person and the wife of Prophet Nuh was not good.
Regularly reciting the latter part of Ayah 74 from Surah Al-Furqan and praying to Allah for a good, pious, and virtuous companion is recommended.
Actionable Steps:
- Do not compromise on mandatory prayers (Perform them on time and in congregation).
- Follow the Sunnah of the Prophet (SAW) in every action.
- Be obedient to your parents and reassure them about Allah.
- Encourage faith, good deeds, and learning the Qur’an in your home.
- Perform Tahajjud prayers at night (at least twice a week).
- Memorize the Qur’an daily, even if only a small amount, and gain Islamic knowledge.
- Be consistent with morning and evening dhikr (Remembrance of Allah).
- Strive for humility in prayers (Make it a daily effort).
- Constantly pray to Allah and remember Him.
- Gain clear knowledge about hijab and non-mahram rules.
- Continuously pray for a virtuous wife from Allah.
- Avoid sins and frequently repent and seek forgiveness.
2. Mental Preparation
Mental preparation is a crucial chapter before marriage. It involves making a personal commitment to be ready for responsibility. This responsibility is not just about loving your spouse for life; it means being prepared to support your wife through financial, emotional, and physical challenges. Mental preparation requires thoughtful consideration before taking any action.
Until now, you might not have had much awareness about family matters. However, you will need to ask your father, “Dad, do you have your medication? Or should I get some?” You will need to ask your mother, “Mom, do we have rice at home? The onions are nearly finished; should I buy more?” It’s okay if your pocket is empty. If needed, they can help with money, but you must behave like a responsible person. You should gradually take steps toward fulfilling responsibilities.
Additionally, you should understand the rights and obligations of a partner before marriage.
Actionable Steps:
- Start participating in small family tasks.
- Gradually begin to take on family responsibilities.
- Develop mental growth and maturity within yourself.
- Take practical initiatives and carefully consider each action.
- Avoid childish behavior and act maturely with everyone.
3. Physical Preparation
Excessive sleeping and overeating take away the blessings from life. When we sleep too much or eat too much, we lose the benefits of life and time. While Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala decides how long we will live, those who sleep and eat excessively often find themselves able to do less than others in the same amount of time.
People who are always sleepy or always eating usually don’t succeed because they can’t focus properly. They waste time either thinking about what to eat or dealing with tiredness from overeating.
To be happy in life and marriage, it’s very important to keep a good sleep schedule. Especially, you should aim to sleep between 10 PM and 11 PM, known as the Golden Hour of Sleep. Start preparing for sleep by 9 PM, and ensure the lights are off by 10 PM. Avoid staying awake between 10 PM and 11 PM.
The Prophet (SAW) disliked sleeping before the Isha prayer and talking after it. (Bukhari – 568)
The Prophet (SAW) prayed, “O Allah, bless my Ummah in the morning.” (Musnad Ahmad – 1320)
Actionable Steps:
- Go to sleep by 10 PM.
- Make use of the morning time for self-improvement.
- Control screen time (reduce device and social media addiction).
- Follow the Sunnah in eating and drinking.
- Try to fast on voluntary days.
- Exercise regularly.
- Take a short nap during the day, about 25-30 minutes (after the Friday prayer or before/after other prayers).
- Address sexual issues (if involved in masturbation, stop it completely and keep yourself pure for your spouse). Take steps to solve any problems caused. In our next article, we will talk about the Bad Effects of masturbation.
Learn about Good Health.
4. Financial Preparation
“There is no creature on earth whose sustenance is not undertaken by Allah” (Surah Hud 11:6).
Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala has made certain rights obligatory for the husband over the wife, such as paying the full mahr, Regarding this, Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala says,
“Give the women their mahr willingly, but if they give up some of it for you of their own accord, then eat it with pleasure and enjoyment.” (Surah An-Nisa 4:4)
“The best mahr is that which is easy to give.” (Mustadrak Hakim – 2742)
The mahr should be equivalent to the current weight of 1732.8 grams of silver in money.
It is best to save money before marriage, whether by saving from your tuition fees or through freelancing alongside your studies.
“The best marriage is the one that is the easiest.” (Sunan Abu Dawood – 2117)
Key Point: Before marriage, earn sufficient income. Open up avenues for earning and then get married. Otherwise, if you are unemployed after marriage, your beloved might eventually find you intolerable. The constant worry about money will slowly diminish your commitment to religious practices. You will lose interest in activities like reciting the Quran together, performing Tahajjud at night, or enjoying the morning fog. You will only be concerned with how to manage without essentials like rice, oil, or medicine.
Sheikh Hussain Abdus Sattam Hafiz says, “If you do not have assets, money, or sufficient resources, initially it will be your faith that suffers. When you lack money, you will not have food on your table. You will seek food by any means, even if it involves haram (forbidden) ways, including theft. To avoid such damage to your faith, you must save and be prepared.”
Now the question is how to earn income while being a student?
The main point is that there are no restrictions on earning in Islam as long as it is halal (permissible). There are many ways to earn money, and here are a few options:
- Tutoring: You can offer tutoring services online or offline.
- Blogging: Writing blogs online.
- Web Development and Graphic Design: Offering services in web development and graphic design.
- Small Business: Running a small business online or offline.
- SEO: Working in Search Engine Optimization.
- Affiliate Marketing: Promoting products and earning commissions.
- App Development: Developing mobile or web applications.
Necessary Steps:
- Find Different Jobs: Search for various job opportunities.
- Research: Look for information about the jobs you like on YouTube and Google to get an idea.
- Assess Feasibility: Determine if you can do the job.
- Seek Advice: Get advice from experienced individuals.
- Start Learning: Once everything aligns, begin learning from a suitable teacher or through online courses (like Coursera, etc.).
🎯 There are no shortcuts in any job. Whatever you choose to learn, do so with dedication and discipline. Many people, despite doing simple work, have achieved high positions through consistency and discipline.
Actionable Steps:
- Select a Job: After thorough istikhara (prayer for guidance), choose a job that suits you. Istikhara is a prayer asking Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala for guidance in making a decision.
- Trust in Allah: Begin working on your chosen path with sincerity and discipline, placing your trust in Allah. Approach your work with commitment and consistency, as this will help you stay focused and motivated.
- Start Saving Early: Begin saving money at least 2 years before marriage. Early preparation helps ensure you have the financial stability needed for a smooth transition into married life.
- Always Save Money: Continuously make efforts to save money. Regular saving can provide financial security and reduce stress in the future.
- Donate Regularly: Even if it’s a small amount, give charity regularly. Donating with the intention of earning reward for your family is considered sadaqah (charity) – as per Bukhari Sharif. Remember that giving charity does not decrease wealth. As mentioned in the hadith: “Charity does not decrease wealth” (Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1010).
- Ensure Halal Earnings: Make sure your earnings are halal (permissible). Engaging in only lawful sources of income ensures that your wealth is blessed and free from any prohibitions.
- Complete Marriage and Family Management Courses: Take courses on marriage and family management if necessary.
Conclusion
Marriage preparation involves more than just picking the right partner. It requires aligning your faith and actions, mentally preparing for responsibilities, maintaining good health, and ensuring financial stability.
Preparation in these four key areas—faith, mental readiness, physical health, and financial stability—is essential for a successful marriage. Make use of these tips to ensure that your marriage is not only successful but also fulfilling and harmonious.
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